Growing up as a child, my parents have instilled fear into my life. I was raised listening to "if you sit too close to the television, you'll go blind." I've also been induced with the fear that if I stretch out my face to make a funny, vile looking face, it'll stay that way... forever...dun...dun...dun... But the fear instilled into my life does not end there. I grew up hearing rumors that if I had a cigarette, I would die on the spot. I grew up hearing that if I drank alcohol, I would spontaneously be turned into an alcoholic and die. If I smoked pot, I would be put in jail to rot for a lifetime. If I had sex before marriage, 1 of two things would happen. I could either A.) get AIDs and die or B.) I would have a child and I would be somehow die from that too. Don't worry, the monster under my bed was another fear too. Especially, if I didn't clean under my bed. Yeah, that would probably kill me too.
There's a point that I will get too. I'm building up to it...
Thankfully, over the years, all the bad things I may have done, haven't killed me yet or whatever outcomes that might have happened. I am still here. But don't think for two seconds that I have miraculously manipulated the system where I received no punishments for those deeds I may have committed. Nope. I got punished like every mischievous child out there. They ranged from a spanking, a timeout, a "go up to your room and think about what you have done..." To which of course, I never did. My Dad also had a good one. It was a mixture of timeout and going up to your room. My sister and I had to kneel on our knees beside our beds. When your 5 years old and have an attention span of roughly 37 seconds, it sucked. But as I grew up, I did manipulate that system but running up to my room and doing my homework. I wouldn't sit at a desk, however, I would kneel on my knees beside my bed and do my homework using my bed as a desk. Which, looking back on it, probably wasn't the smartest idea, because, my knees are a bit screwy. But who knew one would get old with the times.
As I grew older, I became more mischievous. After all, I am only human and I do do wrong. I've had friends who have broken into homes, drive drunk, kill a guy, beat up a woman, stab a guy, shoot a guy, become crazy drug attics, and have committed the act of sex and have a kid (they were the lucky ones, they didn't get the AIDs), etc.. But I, some time ago, committed the worst crime of all. While my parents were away, I had people in my house against there wishes (and when I mean, I had people in my house, it was like a few friends and playing poker...). I lost their trust. And to this very day I have apparently not gained it back.
Recently, I have committed another act of treachery. Because the offense is still pending investigation and also for the safety of my home, I can neither confirm, nor deny that my parents are in my house right now. Again, their wishes to have the world not know of their current whereabouts and how they may have or may not be in this state, have be intruded upon. Recently, I created a Facebook status that may have destroyed my family. In a nutshell, it said that I was going to rent out my parents bedroom while they were away and to look for my add on craigslist. I also featured a word of caution that I wasn't looking to house stalkers or murderers... Anyways, my father asked me about this and the only thing I could think of was... "Really? Are shitting me right now?" I was asked no to post anything while they were gone. I did a bad thing. I did it for a facebook "like" and a comment.
Father, I could have been a rapist, and a murderer. I could have been a wife beater and an alcoholic. I could have been Whitey Bulger or one of the members of Ocean's 11. I could have been a a baby killer, a coke head, a gay man. But, I did something far worse. I wrote a Facebook status that broke all bonds of fellowship and trust. I do not know, how I can regain your trust in me and I do not know how I can show you how much it pains me to see you look down on me disgracefully. I have no sure way of...
...wait a second. Hold the phone. It just dawned on me. Um, aren't we a little too old to be spying on our 22 year old son's Facebook page? You know, I actually have a better question, why where you spying on my Facebook page? Was it because, you have so little trust on me, and that you have this impulsive fear that I might post on my page that I am having a party, so that you had to check my page to see if I did or not? Now, listen, I'm 22 years old and to feed the fire of fear, who the fuck post shit like that on Facebook, besides 16 year olds? Hello, cell phones are the way of the future. I could be having a party right now and you wouldn't even know it! It's exciting!! Now, the fact that you guys deliberately looked me up, shows me the lack of faith in me. I also know that, My profile is pretty sealed up so you couldn't view my profile if you were outside if my friendship circle. I also know that some family members are blocked from viewing specific things. It's apparent that I have a leak in my system. I am fully aware of that and I do intend on fixing this.
So now we have ourselves a bit of a dilemma. My parents can't trust me, and I can't trust my parents. You don't see me snooping around all your paper work in your office or your cellphones. Nope. Not me. Why? Because I respect your privacy:
- The state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people
- - she returned to the privacy of her own home
- The state of being free from public attention
- - a law to restrict newspapers' freedom to invade people's privacy
In case that word isn't in your vocabulary, now it is.
I think this should conclude today's rant. I am now going to invite some hookers to the house and have rage sex while drinking multiple varieties of alcoholic beverages and then proceeding to skin the hookers flesh off. I will then put on their flesh and run around the house. After which, I will burn the house down. ***DISCLAIMER*** This will not actually happen. It was intended to be a joke, kind of like putting a CraigsList add for renting out my parent bedroom. Neither will happen.
