Positive Words of Encouragement

Hi! Hi! Hi! I want to tell you something...


I've been feeling really inspired to write lately, but I've been entirely turned off by the idea because of school and how that's all I've been doing. It's just not the type of writing I want to do. I could give two shits on writing press releases or some other bullshit. This past election has inspired me to get back into my fictional shit. By the way, I didn't vote for Obama. So when the new Civil War begins, I'm totally screwed living here in Communists Massachusetts...

Anyways, politics aside, I've been doing some inspirational, soul searching, type shit. I've concluded that I have appeared to misplace my remote somewhere in between the seat cushions again... I also came up with, what I think, are three profound goals in my life that I feel I have to accomplish. This is aside from the typical, getting a great job or creating a beautiful family with a wonderful person I want to spend the rest of my life, all that cheesy lame shit. So here we go...

My Goals in Life:

1.  I want to write a book that will leave a lasting (and positive) impression on the world. This book, is supposed to be inspirational; something that will be talked about for generations. 
2.  I want to own a baseball team (not called the Boston Red Sox). I always thought owning a baseball team would be cool. What of it? Better to dream big, than little.
3.  While on the subject of dreaming big, I would also like to run for President of the United States of America. 

Now, you can look at these things and laugh. That's fine. What is it they say? Haters gonna hate. But take a good look at yourself, what are your aspirations in life? Are they easily obtainable, because if they are, you should probably go back to drawing board. Or if you don't have any, you should probably get on that. 

Life isn't about breathing the air into our lungs and out. It's not about wasting it or getting back to it later, when it's convenient. Life is about right now. Life is about actually living it. Doing things you want to do. Not that, "let's go out and party," YOLO shit. Fuck that, man. 

If I want to write an inspirational book, fuck it, I am going to do that. If I want to owe a baseball team, fuck it, I am going to do that. If I want to run for fucking president, you bet your ass I will. You can tell me that I can't do it. But who are you to say what I can and can't do? You think I won't succeed? The odds are not favorable, but the odds don't exist if I don't try. 

That's the problem with my generation. We seek things we know we can do. Can I get up this morning? Check. "Well, I don't feel like doing the whole school thing, I sucked in high school, college just isn't for me, I'll settle for less and work three job while living with my parents." C'mon, what are you afraid of? Failure? Life is about taking chances. If you fail, you learn from your mistakes and try again. And let's be fucking realistic, I'm sick of people doing shit, "just for the sake of doing shit," going out and being reckless and at the end of the night, "well, I made a mistake, I learned from it, I'll move on..." Such a fucking cop out. If you know it's going to end in a disaster, why fucking do it? Like, is that really a question that needs to be thought about?

I think we have a purpose in life. I really do. I think we can all look at the people around us and take inspiration from one another. I know that's something I would like to do. I want to leave my mark in this world in some form. I want to inspire someone to do something great. Whether it's a pat on the back that gave them the confidence to spark a revolution, or cure cancer, or become a leading expert in industrial waste management. I want to my kids to look into my eyes when they are seeking some type of counsel, and know to not be afraid of the demons the world has. I want them to fight through all the disparity and enlighten someone else to do a greater good. I want them to know, it's okay to be afraid and they can fight through all the oppression life has to offer. And I encourage you all to do the same.

I think it's silly for people to sell themselves short and settle for what is simple and familiar. It's really a wasted life. I see people in my life all the time. Some strive to do good things that meaningful to their life, and I applaud them. Others seem to just sit around and wait til the clock finally runs out. That depresses me. Then, there are the ones in limbo. The ones that had it all figured out, but then things fell apart on them. Well, fear not, the journey doesn't end there. 

I feel it's important to dream, to create goals, to feel inspired. I think it's important to seek knowledge. Always strive to learn more. There's a wealth of knowledge out there and the moment you lose interest in that, then there's no point in things. Building lasting friendships is essential to life. I want to meet new people and learn from them. The world has so much to offer. Why sit around and watch opportunities pass us by. Guys, there's a whole fucking world out there. I want to see it.

...oh, yeah, now I remember what I wanted to tell you, positive words of encouragement.

This Way. That Way. Which Ever Way is Convenient

Well, hey there friend. I would take a moment and ask how you were doing, but I'm not entirely sure if you can respond, nor am I sure I have the attention span to actually listen if I could. Anyways, school started back up and I have one of those rare off-nights I don't have to worry about some big ass paper/project. I also have a moment where my attention span isn't being pulled by a shiny object.

Anyways, I've had to deal with a bundle of shit lately and my head is slowly coming back down from everything. I would totally share you the lessons learned from the experience, but I don't want to get frustrated by it all again. So, that topic is out of the mix... I could go on about work, but I mean, who really cares? Customers are still stupid and greedy, but I mean, I think they just throw that in the "That's Life" category. So, that topic is also out... What to run my mouth off about? Love? Life? Friendships? Work? Bitchy bitches bitching? Aliens! Nah, let's talk about politics...

No, really, I was serious...

I've been meaning to talk about something like this, but I never really knew how to approach this. I feel like a lot of people in my age group just don't really care about politics. I personally feel it's good to stay on top of these things and have some sort of opinion. Now, I might not always agree with what my peers believe in, but they still went out there and gathered some type of information regarding politics. It's not the easiest of things to follow and I'll admit that at times, I have to walk away from it all.

The one thing I hate is getting into debates. I'll admit, I'm in the Libertarian spectrum, and I almost agree with no one. My issue is when I walk into something where I'm neck and neck with someone who's far left and they go off about whatever and they start spitting at me because there mouth is running a mile a minute and yeah, it just gets messy. Anyways, really? Like, I get it, I do it too, at times, but you're not going to persuade me from how I feel about how the government should be run. It's like a Born Again Christian trying to convert an Orthodox Jew... Good-fucking-luck. People post crummy liberal crap on facebook all the time. You know those Obama Savior shit, they drive me up a fucking wall and the only way I can feel content with all of it is by trolling back with some outlandish right wing propaganda thing that even I know is silly and loopy. But I do it because, it just shows the ignorance of some people.

It's shit like this photo that get's me fired up. That's fucking fantastic. I'm totally going to ignore the fact that the unemployment rate is still around 8%. But you know, he created jobs... must be totally legit.

Don't worry, it's not all rainbows and butterflies with the Republicans. They piss me off too. Why? Well, hey, let's be apart of the solution in getting America back on track by voting down ever single fucking liberal finger printed bill that comes up to the floor and then, not counter it with something better. Let's be counter-fucking-productive.

The following is from the editorial 545, by Charlie Reese. Now you don't have to read it all, but at least skim the beginning and the end. You might even have a little fire in ya


Politicians are the only people in  the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against  deficits, WHY do we have deficits? Have you ever wondered, if all  the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have  inflation and high taxes? You and I don't propose a federal budget. The President does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't  control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does. One hundred  senators, 435 congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices  equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally,  morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that  plague this country. I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve  Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress  delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a  federally chartered, but private, central bank. I excluded all the  special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal  authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a  President to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a  politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to  accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the  legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes. Those 545  human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did  is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of  party. What separates a politician from a normal human being is an  excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a  Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.  The President can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to  accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land,  gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating  and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House?  John Boehner. He is the leader of the majority party. He and fellow House  members, not the President, can approve any budget they want. If the  President vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree  to. It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million  cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of  incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic  problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal  government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist. If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it  unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Army & Marines are in Iraq and Afghanistan it's  because they want them in Iraq and Afghanistan. If they do not  receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter if there an (R) next to their name or a (D). What matters is what's write for this country. It annoys me that when people vote, they vote for a person because someone told them to, or their parents did or something silly. They vote for the "oppressor" because the opposing VP candidate is pro-life and doesn't believe in Gay institutions. Well, yeah, I disagree with that too, but let's at this realistically, is that going to get the economy back on track? Oh, and is the VP candidate going to have the final say in the "checks and balanced," democratic government? No, ain't no way that ever happens. And to the people who say that we have no liberties and freedoms, what rights did you get taken away since Obama's been in office? They look about the same as before. In fact, a lot of time, we are giving up the right to do a lot of things on our own accord. Public officials know your dumb enough not to read fine print. Who the hell knows what's actually in there. And who know's what rights you've waived in the privacy policies, or speeding tickets, etc... You have no right, because you allowed it to happen.

Come November, someone will be elected president for the next 4 years. Think long and hard about what the most important issues are and then decide who fits you're beliefs. Don't vote because polls are dictation someone to win or because you don't like the other guy. You can put any name down on the ballot. After all, it's a government for the people, by the people.

Your Daughter is a Babe

Guess who's back? Back again? This guys back... You really don't have to tell a friend. I'm not that important...


It's been quite a fucking while since the last run through of nonsense. It's been so long that I feel the need to run my mouth off... It's just, I didn't come to this loaded with any ammo. I've been hanging out on tumblr lately and I'm just fucking bored sick of it. I dunno how many more pictures I can just re-blog and feel satisfied with life. I just have not the slightest clue how people do that for fucking hours. Meanwhile, thousands of doctors are just baffled by the rise of Diabetes in a America...


Anyways, so life has just been a peach. The best anyone could ever ask for. I love Summer!! I live my life to the fullest when it comes to the Summer... I actually there is so much fucks I don't giveth when it comes to Summer. It's just another fucking season. Yeah, sure, it's nice to go out and do a few things, but I mean, I spend so much money when I go out and I am a cheap bastard. It's really tough this time of the year when I yearn for excitement, but then shy away when I realize I have to spend money. That realization of adult hood and "Not Everything Is Free" methodology fumbles around in my head and gets mixed up with "Fuck it."

I had this weird realization the other night. I'm really upset that I haven't read any, "This summer, I found out who my real friends were..." Facebook statuses. Like, I am really, really, incredibly genuinely upset by this notion. Either, people are starting to grow up and get their shit together or maybe they all moved away, because "they hate this town and the people in it." Which reminds me, I haven't seen many of those statuses either... What the fuck is wrong with you people? I need your useless fucking lives to be incredibly miserable so I can read up about how incredibly miserable your life is on Facebook on my days off from work. Now, I have to go out and fucking socialize and spend money. Why is my life so damn average?

I just don't get why people have to bitch about the place they live and that they want to leave. If you hate your hometown so much and the people in it that make your life so fucking miserable, then that should give all the incentives to be determined as fuck to get the hell out of dodge. Do something about it. Be somebody.

And to the fucking mother who grilled me the other day at work for checking out her daughter: don't let her out of the house wearing yoga pants. Don't allow her to look so sexy in those. Late at night while she's sleeping, walk into her room with a hammer and beat her face and then make her wear those clothes you used to wear in the 70's. That'll sure as shit end any sexy drive a man may have. Trust me. I shit you not, it'll work. Till then, your daughter is a babe...

Cock Blocked—A Concerningly New Trend

I've had a multitude of revelations this week, one of them being that I discovered how much of an asshole I am today, but that's beside the point. I was talking with a friend about this and I wanted to share the world of my troubles. I would like to focus on an entity that is in my life. It's what I guess I’d describe it as, a natural cock block, in my life. Now, what deciphers a natural cock block from and unnatural cock block? I have not a fucking clue and I don't care to be analytical about this. The point is there's an entity in my life that cock blocks me and it makes me utterly depressed.

So, I met this girl a number of years ago. It was a blatant accident. For the sake of this story, she will be named Olga, because it is a heinous name. I had a class with her and sure as shit, I had another class with her. Destiny would have it that I have a few more classes with her. We are polar opposites. She is a liberal/borderline communist and I am a Libertarian. She likes animals, I don't. She has anger issues and takes it out on the world; I have anger issues and take it out on a dead baby I keep in my closet. The one common thing we share is our dislike for each other. Or maybe I'm the only one who is in dislike and she just doesn't think I'm joking...

So anyways, everything I'm about to say is probably 100% coincidental, but for the sake of my story and the hatred I have for this person, it is all 100% true. I had a class with this girl. She was pretty cool, cute, the whole package deal. Anyways, one day, I'm working my charm with this chick (And when I mean working my charm, I mean shouting obscenities...) and then Olga comes over to talk to me about nothing and how her mother has schizophrenia and blah blah blah. Then the girl I was talking to decides to introduce herself. Worst. Mistake. Ever. So, within about a few weeks, said girl got into a relationship. NBD. Life moves on...

So recently, I've been trying to swoon this sweet, adorable girl at school (and when I mean swoon, it's more like me stuttering and stammering) with little to no success. Anyways, I was sitting with Olga in one of the many eating facilities on campus. I didn't have class for about an hour and nothing to do. Olga was packing up and at that moment, that sweet little angel came around the corner and saw me. I smiled and she smiled backing glowing like a...*insert romantic babble*. She came over and I invited her to sit, and sure as shit, that dumb bitch Olga stepped in and introduced herself to my angel. She is now currently in a relationship and my heart is in utter turmoil. 

What are the fucking odds that something like that happens? No, really, I need an answer. This is an open question to anyone. I get, I missed my opportunity with this chick and that's fine. I accept my fuck up, but really? Almost the same scenario garners me identical end results. I'm not one that follows up on signs, but let's fucking face it, that one is fucked up. It's just fucking cruel. 

And to add insult to injury, my sister tried to set me up with one of her friends, I declined (siting that my sister would be a cock block), and my best friend from out of left field, goes on a date with her last night... Really? I have the worst luck with women. I could write a book.

Invisible Children: Friend or Foe?

My parent always taught me things that would benefit me in life. One being, never bring up politics and religion. So much shit get stirred up and emotions go through the fucking roof. My philosophy is to never get into a debate where I have to convince people to change their beliefs. I don’t believe in that. You have the right to your opinion as long as you can back it up. I also feel that one has to be able to look at things from both sides of an argument. 

This KONY 2012 campaign is absolutely amazing. This thing has spread like wildfire. And you know, it’s great that people are getting involved trying to help the world become a better place for everyone. After all, we are all in this together. With that said, let’s take a look back in history. Back in the day, when white Europeans were out colonizing the world, they settled on a place called Africa. To make this conversation short, they fucked it all up. Tribes that had claim to certain land became combined with other tribes thus causing multiple wars and bloodshed and genocide. All the fun family activities we’re used to… Anyways, fast forward to 2012, and here we are talking about bring Joseph Kony to justice. The man is downright evil. He is inhumane to people.

So, how do you stop a mad man? How do you find justice for all the wrong he has done. Well let’s look at past genocides. Hitler, he killed millions of Jews. The world really did nothing and Hitler killed himself at the end of World War II… Okay… Next? Vietnam. Well that’s a shit storm in itself and in a nutshell, if you weren’t communist, you were killed… The US got involved and ended up leaving empty handed. Vietnam is still a communist country and I hear it is a lovely vacation spot… We are 0-2 in success. Iraq? This should be interesting…   Sure there were not WMDs, but let’s not talk about Saddam’s weaponry he did not possess in 2003. Let’s talk about him gassing his own people. End result he was captured and tried in 2006 and was sentenced to death after being convicted of “crimes against humanity.” End result? Well, it’s over and done with, for now. It’s not a place I would take my kids to on a “Around the World” venture. To put it simply, getting rid of Kony isn’t going to solve the problem entirely.

Think of it like this. Osama Bin Laden is dead, right. Are we that much closer to leaving Afghanistan? Nope. We Americans have this idea that if shit is going on in other countries, are contributions are to click a like button/retweet/reblog and we are that much closer to World Peace. World Peace is a fallacy. 

Now these Invisible Children guys. They are part of a cause to help rid the world of Joseph Kony. I think that is a fair assessment of the situation. It’s non-biased. It’s a fact, they are. And that to many is a great thing. I think the world would be completely better off if we could get rid of all the Joseph Kony’s of the world. 

But just throwing this out there, this is really bad PR. Also, the helping and funding the Ugandan Military that is just as bent as Kony, is probably bad for community building or even some type of partnership… Just throwing that out there.

Anyways, everyone is allowed an opinion and I’m not here to tell you that you’re wrong. I’m telling you to look at the picture as a whole (not the one above, the whole cause). And on that note, I bid thee all farewell. Also, if you get a chance, read this. Cheers.

Social Media: The End of Interpersonal Skills and Any Other Form of People Skills We Once Knew...

I was born January 6^th 1989. I think that puts me with the Generation Y crew. At least that's what it's saying on Wikipedia. I can't exactly tell you what is so significant about us Generation Y babies, but I feel like we're a big deal, or we're made out to be a big deal. I dunno, man, I heard it somewhere before. My mother and father are both part of the Baby Boom Generation, my dad being the beginning and my mother being somewhere in the middle. Anyways, I'm slowly getting to my point, bare with me... 

I hate it when people throw me in this "Facebook" Generation class. Yeah, obviously I have one and spend about 5 hours out of my 17 hour day on it. Oh well. But I can't say I've been around it for ever. In fact, I didn't join the "scene" till 2007 when I a ripe 18 years old. Who knew. And I get aggravated with people thinking I can't live with out my cellphone. Well, listen here, yes I am on it constantly, but if I didn't have, I would not have withdrawals. I have it, so I've got to use the shit out of it seeing how it cost $199.99. I didn't join the cellphone "scene" till I was 16. Before that, I did rely on smoke signals to communicate with people. There was once a time when I didn't have a gaming system and I went outside to play. I got dirty, grass stains, cuts and bruises (some looked like child abuse stuff bruises), played on my razor scooter, rode my bike, played manhunt late at night, the whole nine yards. But, now I sit on my ass...

So, of recent, I've seen a few people posting things about how they hate Twitter or some new fads that are posted on Facebook at stupid... etc. I'll be honest, a lot of those "apps" are pretty stupid. I absolutely hate the ones where you can figure out what you cellphones name is. So fucking stupid. And let's be honest, how many people need to post the stupid girls first hard core songs. Does anyone remember the 6 degrees of separations?  I don't need 38 people posting the same fucking video. I got it the first 14 times. That and AOL let me know it was a top story. But thanks for the friendly fucking reminder. I'm going to go rip my fucking finger nails off with a rusty plier...

Then there's those "What people think I do" pictures... Some are funny, most are not. If something interest me, then I'll read it, otherwise, I usually ignore that, like the 38 posts about the stupid girl who sang her first hard core song... I mean, I find it idiotic to complain about people posting stupid things on our, whatever you want to call them, "social media" sites, but yet we spend hours of our day looking at stupid shit on them. Really? I mean, I use Facebook to stalk people most times, and wonder why certain people won't ever accept my friend request, while I peek at what pictures I can see... to catch up with old friends... and that's all I see is stupid shit, but it drives to sit and wait till the next stupid thing is posted so we can bitch entirely all about it (hence this blogs existence)...

That's fucking awesome. Thank you for allowing me to waste my fucking time.

I'm also into Twitter and I'm just getting into the tumblr scene (Yes, I am promoting myself through competing social mediums. What of it?). I hate the so called "reasons" for disliking Twitter. Listen, I get it, some people just aren't into it and that's fine. I'm not going to convince you why it's awesome and that everyone on the face of the planet needs one. It took me years to fully get into it. I'm also a Corporate Communications major and it'll basically be somewhere in my job description. But all that is besides the point. So, the number one reason I hear twitter "sucks" is because people don't want to post stupid things like, "I'm taking a shit." or "I'm eating a burger." nor do they want to read shit like that. Guess what? Neither do I! And you know who complains about shit like that? Those fuck heads that found out what their cellphones name is... *bangs head on the computer* FML...

So, I guess in conclusion, social mediums are cool. Yeah, there may be some risks involved with people stealing you identity and/or/not limited to: raping you, breaking into your home, murder, bullying, the shits, stealing your socks... But, so are the other normal things like jogging, riding a fucking bike, driving. Hell, maybe you end up on either 1000 ways to die and/or The Darwin Awards... Also, I'm sick of people bitching about what other people's shit they post. Why are you so damn concerned? Yes, there are some things I think are stupid, but face it, you probably don't post "perfect" things either. Everyone is entitled to post things. I'm entitled to ignore it. But instead we make big deals over these things when we can do something as simple as ignoring it. Hell, five people might look at this, but most people will overlook it and that's fine with me. I write because, A.) Someone will read this, and B.) it allows my writing skills to stay...ish... But listen, I really gotta get back to creeping on an old high school crush's Facebook... bouncing around the social mediasphere... meet some new people... do white collar things... I just gotta fucking go, OKAY! This is why I don't talk to people in the real world. My Twitter followers are more understanding...

Side note: to the people that bitch about people's grammar... Fuck you!

Driving Etiquette

I might have blogged about my frustration with people driving before, or it was just mentioned in a blog in which I ranted about all things wrong with this world including people sucking at driving. But there is a lot in the area the bothers me wholesomely. Personally, I hate it and it doesn't help that there are people out there who just flat out have no talent in driving. Every aspect of driving sucks. It's a shame really. I feel like the world would be a much simpler place if everyone drove like me.

But first, I am going to start with the rules to my car from the outside in. I feel this is necessary, because some people in the past have taken advantage of the system. It will no longer be tolerated in my car.

Stebs Car Rules:
(I know, it's a pretty fucking clever title.)

1. There will ALWAYS be a Co-Pilot.
• Prettiest girl(s) sit in the front seat. 
• Right hand man takes the role of Co-Pilot in the event there are no pretty girls. 
• If right hand man is not present, the role is then filled by the #3 man.
• If, for any reason, I am not able to drive, the right hand man will take control of the vehicle temporarily. If he too is either, unable or not present, #3 man assumes position of the right hand man. If neither are present or able, the next safest driver assumes command. I will then occupy the Co-Pilot's seat.
• If none of the above applies, I care not how it is determined who sits in the front seat. However, I have the right to overturn any bullshit rule I hear in the determining factor.
2. Do not touch my radio. Do not assume control over my radio. If I want to listen to conservative talk radio, WE will listen to conservative talk radio. (I also don't want to hear how Fox News is a biased news channel. I watch Fox News. I know what they are reporting. I do not need your Liberal biased opinion of Fox News.) However, I am always open to suggestions. I don't play around with other person's radios when I am in their car; I expect the same in return.
3. Do not critique my driving. I passed the driving exam for a reason.
• I do not wish to hear what you would do in a certain situation.
• I do not wish to hear which route you would take if you were driving
• If I ask, "Do you want to drive?" It means "shut the fuck up."
• If you respond, you will be asked to leave the car.
• If car is moving, tuck and roll.
• If you object in any way to how I am driving, it will be noted.
4. No vomiting inside or outside the car.
• If vomiting occurs, vomitee will pay for the cleanup, inside and outside.
5. No littering.
• If littering occurs and I am pulled over for it, you will pay the fine.
6. Always wear a seat belt. I don't care who you are, how cool you are, how far down the street we are going, what you do in your car or other person's cars. You are in my car.
• If non-compliant, you will pay the fine if one is given.
7. I will not be pressured into racing another vehicle. If pressure, see video.
8. There will be no mutiny.
• Mutineers will be subject to being kicked out of the car permanently.
9. I am not a chauffeur.
• I will not drive you to another friend's house, when you have no ride. You may make the necessary arrangements with the people you plan to hang out with.
10. Anything goes. Everyone is allowed to be discriminated against (in good taste).
11. There will be no whining, no complaining, no bitching. 
12. If you are asked to vacate the care while moving, tuck and roll.
13. When "hang outs" are being implemented, I will not be offered my services to pick someone up.
14. What I say goes. I have the right to change and make new rules whenever applicable.
15. If these rules cannot be agreed to upon entry of vehicle, call a taxi or walk.

Alright, so the rules are a bit more involved than I originally thought, but that's okay, they are worth it. The following will be the things I have noticed while driving around that aggravate me to the fullest extent of road rage.

The Passing Lane: It is there to pass slow drivers. Now I'm content with people driving their own speed. I respect that. But the passing lane is a very sacred lane. It's there for the impatient motherfuckers that have an extreme amount of road rage, but it's not limited to just those reasons. So, what happens? People just hang out in the passing lane. Sometimes they don't even pass anyone. These shit bags need to learn their place in this world. Like I said, I don't care what speed you prefer to travel, but if I am in your bumper, you might want to go faster. In fact, speed the fuck up and get in the other lane. After I pass you, I don't care what you do. Just get your limp dick out of my way. I've got places to be, people to see, and fucking lives to ruin.

Also, to the motherfuckers who have to immediately jump into the passing lane because you were aggravated with the person in front of them, go fuck yourself. I almost fucking hit you! Go fuck someone else dick.

Motherfucker in a Rush: Now we've all come across that guy that just jumps out into traffic cutting you off and then drives like a geriatric. What fucking purpose does that solve? Are you fucking shit me? Like you were in that much of a fucking rush to get out onto the road, but now that your there, fuck it, I'm just gonna let the wind take me. Yeah, it'll be funny for me when I throw a Molotov Cocktails and pray to our Lord savior Jesus Christ he takes you home... I wish death to your unborn great grandchildren.

Handicap Fuck Head: This really has nothing to do with driving, but I saw some old lady park in a handicap spot today. She also went over the curb and nearly ripped the sign out of the ground, so I find it necessary to say at least this. If you are a handicapped, you shouldn't be driving. Period. If you are perfectly capable of driving, but have a "handicap," go fuck yourself and lose the sign.


Blink...Blink...Blink...Blink...Blink...Blink...Blink...Blink...: Alright! I fucking get it! But your fucking turn is not for another fucking mile up the fucking road! Fuck, man...


That Guy That Has to Take a Turn Slow as Fuck: Just make the fucking turn already. Holy fucking shit!

Wide Turns: Over 100 years of car manufacturing and you think that haven't perfected turning capabilities yet. You don't need to cross into the other lane a little bit in order to make a turn. Just turn the fucking wheel!

Yielding: Doesn't mean stop. It means to be prepared to.

What the Fuck?: I know I am not the most environmentally friendly person around. I've been known to throw a wrapper or two out the window. Mother Earth, forgive me? Thanks, love bug!! You're the best! However, don't throw a fucking cup filled with shit out the window so it can hit someone windshield. Not cool, bro.

Ignorance is Bliss

This a blog about the randomness of things that may or may not pop into my head. Listen, let's be realistic, as a "born again" Christian once told me (right after she asked how my soul was doing), we're all guilty of the sins we have yet to commit.  Also note: everything you will read may or may not actually reflect my true beliefs...

This blog will probably prevent me from getting a real job in the future...

Now that we got that shit out of the way, what the fuck was up with that fucking chimp looking black man... Speaking of which, I was sitting in my Social Problems class last semester and I was looking at all the black people that were in the room. One of them had the facial structure that looked like this.

Fuckin, I hate when I hate when girls try to guilt trip me in to buying them a coffee, or some useless fucking item, or just trying to con me into feeling bad for them for some stupid reason. Unless you have big tits and a cute face, it ain't gonna work. Try some other shallow guy.

The best trash can it the one outside my window when I'm doing 90 down the highway... Sprinkle that unwanted shit all over the world.


I waited four fucking days for you to make a move on Words with Friends and the only thing you could muster up was swapping 2 fucking tiles? I'm playing a fucking retard aren't I? What a fuck head.

I want to be that guy that helps global warming.

She looks like she has several STDs...

I think I can satisfactorily say, I have met maybe 2 decent look red head in my life. The rest all look like burn victims or carrot top... And I cannot take them seriously.

Have you ever noticed it's the ugly women who cry rape or sexual assault. A pretty woman takes unwanted sexual attention like a champ.

I pretty damn convinced that 72% of girl who wear yoga pant become 89% hotter than they were before. Yes, even the ugly once that should probably be wearing a paper bad over their head...

How the fuck do you fail at killing yourself? Hang in there, you'll get it right the second time around...

I need a girlfriend who will just clean and cook...

Women are terrible drivers (I do not need you to pull up stats on who has been in more accidents. Invalid). Asians are very terrible drivers. Asian Women are the worst drivers.

Misunderstood

I'm like the leaf that never fell from the tree. I just got brown and dead-like on the tree limb. That's how I feel most days; misplaced and misunderstood in this world. I know I say something that make you think twice about and wonder why in the hell would I say something like that. Yes, granted I say some ignorant things, but let’s be realistic, you think I walk around ranting nonsense like that? Yeah, you’re right, but only sometimes. But, it’s all an act. I say them to get a rise out of people. I don’t run around the streets ranting racist things. I look at every person the same ways. Black, green, purple, yellow, slanted eyed, bogeyed, white eyed…  I have a deformed body; I’m the last person who will call someone out because they’re “different.”

Everyone has an act they play. You have people that pretend like they like someone or a certain group of people, but yet, no one really criticizes that. But, when I play an ignorant prick on facebook and twitter, you know, the place that is now considered the real world, I lose all my “friends” (you know, the people I see on a daily basis. And when I mean see, I mean in my useless newsfeed…)

I'm awesome!! Remember that!!

We hang amongst our friends and one of them does something beyond stupid, we call them a retard. We laugh and giggle and what not. A President says he bowls as if he were in the Special Olympics. I laughed. In fact, it showed the man had a character. But, “people” out there were upset. Who gives a shit? I mean really. I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: Peace starts at not giving a shit about other people differences. And I’m not talking about world peace. I’m talking about anything: fighting, name calling, racial inequalities, political correctness, and sure, world peace. So if I want to say something that is a bit controversial in the realm of ignorance, I’m going to. Why? Because, who cares, I don’t think I’m better. And I don’t care if I was. Call me a dumb little shit. I’m not gonna bet all butt hurt and tell you I have a learning disability.

I just think we waste our time telling people how to act properly or say the right things to avoid offending others. There are more important things out there. Judge me for who I am as a person in real life, not by what I posted on facebook the other day…

That's basically what I have on my mind today. Tomorrow, I will talk about how all the cute girls look really good in yoga pants and how fat people should just eat themselves to death. Lastly, I just want to confirm something. Is it wrong that I YouTube animals getting run over by trains? Oh well, I'll let you YouTube it yourself and see if you think it's funny or not. I can only imagine the repercussions I'd have to deal with, and I can tell you right now, I have more important things to do like brainwashing my three year old nephew into thinking Tiger Woods is an adequate role model.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this song, but, I think it's a good song and it makes it seem like I have a heart and sensitive side when  I post songs like these. It's the new imagine I'm trying to push. I'm so done with the tough guy persona. I get kind of bored of beating up 12 year olds and show all my buds I'm cool. That and crushing empty beer cans on my head, starts to hurt after a while...