I
recently stumbled upon this blog not too long ago and went on a little mini
trip of nostalgia. I fumbled through a few blogs that I had written as if it
were a time portal to yesteryears. To be honest, it was only two years ago when
I last put my fingers to this keyboard and concocted some bit about life and its
bitter ironies.
In my last post, I wrote about
how I loved to write and what I wanted to achieve in my jovial sense of
sarcastic wisdom. The irony; I haven’t written since, due to my sudden
displeasure of writing. The reason for that lies within the text of why I loved
to do it in the first place:
“The
problem, however, is that I hate the process of writing; the time it takes to
consume you in a different world, just to come back to the real world. I hate
the fact that you sit and stare at a blank computer screen and no words pour
out or there just isn’t anything to say.”
As it turned out,
there just wasn’t anything good to say. My mind had grown stale and the
repetitive nature of my banters on the cruel world (at the time it was cruel) was
just something I found more disheartening than anything. So, I stopped. With
that, I lost interest and stopped writing. There was no satisfaction in it
anymore. My writing had no pulse. It was in rigor mortis. But now I’m back, I think.
We shall see, really. I’m trying this new thing and that is to go with the
flow.
I wish I could
tell you that I came back to preach to you all the lessons I’ve learned over
the last few years of being dormant. But, that is not the case. I wish I could
tell you about all the mistakes I’ve made and how I’m going to tell you how I’m
never going to make the same mistakes again. In fact, I’m about to make all new
mistakes… Honestly, I came back, because, I went to see a psychic and I was
told that I needed to get back into writing. That was my calling and that I
have or had a following and that following is only going to grow. I wish I
could say the egotistical side of me pounce at the notion, but I would need an
ego that actually gave a shit. Eh, it’s really a work in progress. That and my
alpha tendencies are still in its hibernation mode from like seven winters ago.
Great news, however, my beta is on point and is waiting for someone else to
lead the way. So, anytime, guys… Point me in the right direction.
In the last two
years, I will say, I have made changes in my life. I’m hoping for the better. I’m
not saying how I am a new man. Christ, no. I’m still the same old dink and
getting older. But, I’ve come down to earth a little bit. My head’s still in
clouds, but I’ve come down. I have felt a weird spiritual awakening inside me.
I’ve met some people who have changed me and even inspired me to move on and
allow myself to grow. I find my imagination taking me on new and exciting
adventures. Adventures that are reminiscent of old illusions that I used to
embark on in my dreams are now exploding in my mind.
So, as I sit here,
I’m making a promise to myself. You all are here to hold me to my promise. You
are my witnesses. Although, I’ve already begun trending down this path, I begin
a new journey; a start of a new adventures that will lead me to where I’ve always
dreamed of being. It’s time to let go of childhood fear. It’s time to let go
of, not the fear of failure, but the fear of being overwhelmed by success. It’s
time to be inspired again. It’s time to build on dreams. It’s time to live my
dreams.
