Spaceman

I was lying in bed late one night. I had just gotten back from grabbing bottled water from down stairs. I had a screaming headache and I just wanted to get to sleep. A light beamed into my window. All I could think about was the damn neighbor putting on his outside lights on. I rolled over to find myself a new comfortable position. The light continued to beam into my room. Angrily, I threw my pillow in the direction of my window. But I didn't hear it hit anything. In fact, I couldn't hear anything. I rolled over and opened my eye. My room was lit up, but yet I couldn't see anything. Suddenly, the room went black and I could hear the noises of my house again. I didn't think much of it, so I slammed my head back on the pillow and went back to attempt sleep.

I began to slowly fall back to sleep. But everything felt funny. A bit of weightlessness. I tried rolling over to find a new comfortable position, but I couldn't. In fact it was very had to. I opened my eyes again and noticed I wasn't in my bed. In fact, I wasn't in my room. I was slowly floating up into a spaceship that was hovering over my house. Now, you must be thinking how full of shit I am, Doc, but I swear they took me up to that spaceship. Yes, they did. I was kidnapped by aliens. Not the border hoppers, I'm talking extra terrestrials.

After I arrived in the ship, they had me in this room. Now, they weren't doing any probing or anything. In fact they were just watching me. I wish I could tell you what they looked like but, it's very hard to describe something that is much more complex than you and I are. I'll tell you this though, they didn't have any crazy tentacles, or multiple limbs or eyes, and they weren't slimy creatures either. They were existing entities. They told me to follow them to another room, but they didn't say it, it was almost telepathic, but I didn't hear anyone inside my head. It was all instinctively done.

I entered another room, which was just pure white. The purist of white you can imagine. I cannot say how big the room was because it felt like it had no dimensions. There was a girl, sitting in the room. I walked over to her. She looked up at me with these dark blue eyes that just hypnotize you. She said hello. I said hello back. She asked me my name. I told her my name was Norm and then she smiled at me. She stood up and said how it was nice to meet me.

Now, Doc, I'm pretty damn certain she was an angel. She was just that mesmerizing. She had these golden lock steaming from her head down to her shoulder. The fairest of skins; smooth, no wrinkles, no scares, no marks. Nothing. Simply: Perfect.

She began to walk around me, examining me. Now, I certainly wasn't in my Sunday best. I hadn't shaved in a week and I was my boxers and a t-shirt. But I had to know. "What's your name?" I asked

"Cora." she answered.

"Cora? I like it. Where you from? Detroit? Maybe Cleveland?"

"I don't come from Earth. In fact, I don't live in this galaxy at all. I live far away."

"Would you consider the move to this part of the universe? I mean, I don't know about the bordering community, but, I mean, it seems like a decent area. Prime real estate? To be honest, I couldn't fathom comparing this galaxy with another." She stared at me blankly. These pickup lines don't usually work and they were not too successful for this "out of this world" kinda girl... Yes, Doc, it was a pun...

She began to walk away from. I decided to follow seeing how I found myself in this unknown place. I found myself overlooking the universe. The vast complexity of everything overwhelmed me but yet stimulated and heightened my sight. The speed in which things happen are beyond what word can ever describe. But, yet, at the same time, the ability to slow it all down and witness the unexplainable, profound miracles that one simply just cannot witness. It's not that we're too blind to see it, but it's just that everything happens so fast that we can't digest it or even realize it ever happened. And if we were to, it would be long forgotten to us...

"Why am I here, Cora?" I asked.

"Why do you think you are here?"

"Well, I'll tell ya, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to save a planet..." The blank stares were killing me... Apparently, the rest of the universe is more civil than you think. There are no Darth Vader’s or evil Klingons. I was kind of happy.

She told me, that there was much for us to learn. To them, we are the new neighbors that just moved in. They want to make sure that we keep the house looking nice so we don't make the neighborhood look run down. Doc, the way things are going, we are those neighbors that are just making things look shitty. We're driving the property values down and the outlying universes are none too pleased.

In all honestly, I fell in love with her or whatever she was. I wait outside, late some nights, hoping she’d come back, but she never shows. We probably won’t meet again. It’s too bad, we might hit it off. I wonder if she’s into hiking… Anyways, Doc, I don’t want to bore you with my hopeless romanticism with a bodacious alien woman. I’ll leave you with that. Next week, I tell you how I help a group of mutineers fight off an evil galactic empire in a galaxy far, far away… I’m just kidding. Things like that don’t happen…