Battle Born

          When I graduated high school, I wanted to go to film school and be then next big thing. I wanted all the movies that I would direct have a catchy slogan, like, “From the Director that is far cooler than Steven Spielberg…” But that hasn’t happen, and will probably never happen.

I thought going to Emerson would be cool, but I also thought, Emerson wasn’t cool enough for me. I also had to worry about what my Dad could afford, because lord knows, I wasn’t paying for shit. I got accepted to Suffolk, and I thought, sweet, I got this. I was so excited. My mother was excited, my father was happy that I got into that school as well. But he knew me better than I knew myself. My motivation level was through the floor…not the roof. It was nowhere to be found. I had replaced it with my 18 year old ego, which was, “film school? Ha! Where I’m going, we don’t need film school. The talent flows through my veins and reeks as if it were a sensual aftershave.” So, my dad said, “Son, you’re going to 4Cs.” My world crashed. How the hell would I become the next great thing? Who would make amazing movies? Who would revive Star Wars? Well, thank Christ there’s JJ Abrams to hold down that fort till, whenever I decide to get around to that…again.

So, I guess I want to start this reflection with, thanks Dad. Sometimes, you need someone to just tell it to you straight. No grey areas, just, plain simple English.

When I got to 4Cs (Cape Cod Community College), I flat out didn’t give a shit. I was basically in an academic limbo. I suddenly felt like I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but yet at the same time, I didn’t give a shit about anything in life. I lost all passion. I basically just fell short of a nervous breakdown.

I never really sought out to make any friends there. It was as simple as, do my time and then get out. If I had happened to bump into someone who shared the same misery, we’d blankly stare at each other, zombified. Maybe we’d say a few words, but mostly grumble about shitty things and how we hate life. But then something hit me. I didn’t want to be that guy. I wanted to break the mold and actually do something with my life. Just what, was the big mystery.

My four years at 4Cs ended on a high note. I actually broke out of my shell and met people. I even socialized, which was something pretty big in my life. And so, to those people that I actually became friendly, thank you. Sometimes the smallest gestures leave a lasting impact. Whether it would be allowing me to buy Red Sox tickets off you for below market value, or buying me Twinkies to munch on in class and be fat, or feeling comfortable for being a nonconformist, slug in class. Thanks for making a difference in my life.

4Cs taught me a lot of things. I helped molded me to who I am. A lot of the professors there pissed me off to the point, where I actually talked back to them, which, surprisingly, is not my style. I got kicked out of class, I told a teacher his methods were ineffective, and I even had the balls to make a sexist comment to a feminist teacher… I actually regret that bit, mainly, because she put me right in my place thereafter… Which is actually easy, but my timing was beyond abysmal…

From there, I grabbed life by the horns and managed to get into Bridgewater State University. Talk about a fucking culture shock. I’m still trying to recover. It’s a Cape thing. Once you go out and see the world for a half second, you realize, maybe there is more to life than just sand and other shitty things on the beach. Although, my time at the Bridge was short, I think it made a bigger impact on my life. Everybody basically has their shit together. We all had a common goal, and everyone worked together to help improve the other. So to all you Bridgewater folk, from the inept groups, to the margaritas in class, to even that God-awful, fucking animal shelter, you rock. You all have deemed yourselves dependable people, in my book, and not many people make it into my book on positive notes. It was a pleasure to work with you on all those projects, especially the makeshift, spur of the moment ones. Oh, and thanks for not catching on that I hardly did any work, when I offered to make the PowerPoint… But you gotta admit they were some pretty damn good PowerPoint presentations.

To the bros and hoes that just happened to hang around in my life, I know I’m stubborn like an old man, and I’m not always the easiest person to get along with or have a normal conversation, but thanks for putting up with me. Some of you may know why I am the way I am or some of you just went with it, it really means a lot. I’m not going to the get any sappier with that. I’m just going to leave it that. Miscellaneous/Family/Others: Thanks. Much love.

And lastly, to all the fuck heads that had no clear purpose in my life, thank you for getting the fuck out. Turns out, I could do it without you. Y’all have been basically the biggest pieces of shits in my life. You have done literally nothing to improve it. You know when you leave your laundry in the washer machine for too long and it’s that smelly shit that is technically the only thing you have clean, that’s a better day than spending a moment with you. You are virtually nonessential. Even that extra Lego in the package, has more of a fucking use than you. I'm not going to leave any subtle hints or anything. You all know who you are. We can leave it at this; you should have been a blow job. 

Hey, you wanna get drunk?