So, No Shit, There I Was...

           Ben Affleck is Batman. Okay, now that we got that out of the way, we can move on to the more pressing and pointless bantering.

So no shit, there I was, eating a fucking salad—because, every good story DOES start with eating a damn good salad. I don’t understand why salad gets such a bad rap. It’s a fucking tasteless leaf and when you put some form of flavoring shit on it, it becomes tasty and flavorful.  Nope, didn’t really have a point there. I just wanted to share that tidbit with you.

                Great news, it will be September. Woohoo! Summer is basically over and I’m openly content with that. I’m happy for this because, I work in retail, and the dummy tourists will not be visiting. I’ve done an amazing job by not sounding off on them. It’s just been a long summer. I think they have been the dumbest, most brainless, people I’ve seen in a long time. Just some dumb fucking people. Dip shit after dip shit. But you know, I could bitch and complain and say shit like, “Oh my Gawd, Rebecca, this bitch pissed me off and I got all angry pants, and I had to bite my tongue and if this bitch had said one more thing, she would totally for regret that shit.” I mean, that’s cool and all, but I’ve learned, sometime just nodding at the idiocy around you and silently knowing that you’re the smartest person in the room is much more self-satisfying than having to remind everyone in some way that you are the smartest person in the room.

                Speaking of dumb bitches that suck at fucking life; so there I am driving down a road. This bitch pulls out in front of me like she’s fucking entitled to every space in her car reach. I’m driving a fucking moving truck. You know, a vehicle that doesn’t necessarily stop on a dime. So she pulls out of this street. I ride up on her ass because, fuck you, and she sticks her hand out to fucking wave. I’m thinking, okay, I didn’t have much of a fucking choice in this matter, but okay… We drive maybe another 100 feet and the bitch stops all fucking traffic with her car to just let everyone pull out on this one particular street. Now, I get it if you’re making a turn somewhere and you want to let a car or two go on their merry ways, but this woman took it upon herself to, not only hold me up and the five cars behind me, but the four other cars from the oncoming traffic. I immediately went from, meh to raging maniac in literally 4 seconds. I laid on my horn for a good minute continuously screaming, “Are you fucking kidding me you dumb fucking cunt!” She won that battle I’m afraid. However, the dude on the other side wasn’t having it either so he just said, “thug life!” and finally broke up the traffic halt. He was definitely the MVP. I was the coach who randomly argued nothing to the umpire for no reason just to get ejected from the game. Regardless, she was a fucking cunt and I hope she falls down her basement stair, breaks her back, and manages to land with her face submerged enough underwater as her basement suddenly becomes flooded. Hopefully fate will prevail in my favor. One can only hope...

                So this is a story that has no relevance to anything. It was just a thought that propped in my mind while I was checking out this girl the other day. So there I was doing my scanning of this chick in a bathing suit and notice she's tatted up. I'm thinking, that’s a really cool tattoo, I wish I could see the rest. After realizing what I wanted to ask, nonchalantly, I realized I’d be basically asking to see her vagina as her tattoo stemmed into that region. That wouldn’t be an issue to me, but I felt people wouldn’t be like, “oh yeah sure, let me pull my bottom off so you can get the whole view. This then prompted me into thinking up a way to explain myself if I were to make an attempted as to why I wanted to see her tats/vag. Finally, after digging myself in such a deep hole, in my mind and quite possibly real life, I'd probably just give up, saying, "I'm more curious to see what it looks like when you’re 75 anyways..."

                …and with that in mind, I’m done for the night. Again, as I generally do, I wanted to write something really cool and at the end of this, zero relevant things were brought up. Cheers.

Val Kilmer being....Fat

Blinders

                I’ve noticed something about humans. There are the go getters and then there are those that just wait for the right opportunity. I tend to fall into the latter category. I don’t know why I do this, but I just find myself doing just that. I like to sit back and evaluate the scene before I decide to go ahead and make my move.

                When it comes to finding that special somebody, whether it be for the long haul, or just for the time being before the need to settle down, we all have those particular standards. I’m a sucker for tall, blue eyed, blondes. Skinny, of course. I don’t like my women overweight. I mean, brunettes are great, don’t get me wrong, I just like me some blondes, especially the petite ones. Red heads are few and far between. The real bread winner, however, are the red heads that can switch off between being blonde and red headed. Them fem’s be talented. It’s not an easy feat to accomplish and master both hair colors. If they can rock that hipbone action, holla! Total kryptonite for me, let me tell ya…

                See what I did there? Did I give two shits about their personalities? Did you judge me a bit just then? I hope you did. Think about this. We have all these expectations of how we want that special someone to be, look, and even act. I mean, face it, if I could propose to either Emma Watson or Taylor Swift, I’d be all over that in a heartbeat and could and would live happily ever after. I mean, c’mon Emma Watson, that little cutie from Harry Potter. Then you got Tay Swift there. Sure she’s a fucking head case, but shit man, legs for daysssszzzzzz. I have all these blinders on right now, I don’t think anyone really matter.

 I guess the real question is, if that special person walked into our lives today, would we recognize them? Maybe would should all lower those blinders, shall we?

Fuck it, I take it all back. Get me a ring, I'm gonna marry Emma Watson, tonight. I'm also gonna need bail money... Just a funny feeling I got...

Battle Born

          When I graduated high school, I wanted to go to film school and be then next big thing. I wanted all the movies that I would direct have a catchy slogan, like, “From the Director that is far cooler than Steven Spielberg…” But that hasn’t happen, and will probably never happen.

I thought going to Emerson would be cool, but I also thought, Emerson wasn’t cool enough for me. I also had to worry about what my Dad could afford, because lord knows, I wasn’t paying for shit. I got accepted to Suffolk, and I thought, sweet, I got this. I was so excited. My mother was excited, my father was happy that I got into that school as well. But he knew me better than I knew myself. My motivation level was through the floor…not the roof. It was nowhere to be found. I had replaced it with my 18 year old ego, which was, “film school? Ha! Where I’m going, we don’t need film school. The talent flows through my veins and reeks as if it were a sensual aftershave.” So, my dad said, “Son, you’re going to 4Cs.” My world crashed. How the hell would I become the next great thing? Who would make amazing movies? Who would revive Star Wars? Well, thank Christ there’s JJ Abrams to hold down that fort till, whenever I decide to get around to that…again.

So, I guess I want to start this reflection with, thanks Dad. Sometimes, you need someone to just tell it to you straight. No grey areas, just, plain simple English.

When I got to 4Cs (Cape Cod Community College), I flat out didn’t give a shit. I was basically in an academic limbo. I suddenly felt like I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but yet at the same time, I didn’t give a shit about anything in life. I lost all passion. I basically just fell short of a nervous breakdown.

I never really sought out to make any friends there. It was as simple as, do my time and then get out. If I had happened to bump into someone who shared the same misery, we’d blankly stare at each other, zombified. Maybe we’d say a few words, but mostly grumble about shitty things and how we hate life. But then something hit me. I didn’t want to be that guy. I wanted to break the mold and actually do something with my life. Just what, was the big mystery.

My four years at 4Cs ended on a high note. I actually broke out of my shell and met people. I even socialized, which was something pretty big in my life. And so, to those people that I actually became friendly, thank you. Sometimes the smallest gestures leave a lasting impact. Whether it would be allowing me to buy Red Sox tickets off you for below market value, or buying me Twinkies to munch on in class and be fat, or feeling comfortable for being a nonconformist, slug in class. Thanks for making a difference in my life.

4Cs taught me a lot of things. I helped molded me to who I am. A lot of the professors there pissed me off to the point, where I actually talked back to them, which, surprisingly, is not my style. I got kicked out of class, I told a teacher his methods were ineffective, and I even had the balls to make a sexist comment to a feminist teacher… I actually regret that bit, mainly, because she put me right in my place thereafter… Which is actually easy, but my timing was beyond abysmal…

From there, I grabbed life by the horns and managed to get into Bridgewater State University. Talk about a fucking culture shock. I’m still trying to recover. It’s a Cape thing. Once you go out and see the world for a half second, you realize, maybe there is more to life than just sand and other shitty things on the beach. Although, my time at the Bridge was short, I think it made a bigger impact on my life. Everybody basically has their shit together. We all had a common goal, and everyone worked together to help improve the other. So to all you Bridgewater folk, from the inept groups, to the margaritas in class, to even that God-awful, fucking animal shelter, you rock. You all have deemed yourselves dependable people, in my book, and not many people make it into my book on positive notes. It was a pleasure to work with you on all those projects, especially the makeshift, spur of the moment ones. Oh, and thanks for not catching on that I hardly did any work, when I offered to make the PowerPoint… But you gotta admit they were some pretty damn good PowerPoint presentations.

To the bros and hoes that just happened to hang around in my life, I know I’m stubborn like an old man, and I’m not always the easiest person to get along with or have a normal conversation, but thanks for putting up with me. Some of you may know why I am the way I am or some of you just went with it, it really means a lot. I’m not going to the get any sappier with that. I’m just going to leave it that. Miscellaneous/Family/Others: Thanks. Much love.

And lastly, to all the fuck heads that had no clear purpose in my life, thank you for getting the fuck out. Turns out, I could do it without you. Y’all have been basically the biggest pieces of shits in my life. You have done literally nothing to improve it. You know when you leave your laundry in the washer machine for too long and it’s that smelly shit that is technically the only thing you have clean, that’s a better day than spending a moment with you. You are virtually nonessential. Even that extra Lego in the package, has more of a fucking use than you. I'm not going to leave any subtle hints or anything. You all know who you are. We can leave it at this; you should have been a blow job. 

Hey, you wanna get drunk?

A Bitter Jibe: Part Deux

                What’s up thuggians? Me? Glad you asked. Shut the fuck up. I know you didn’t really ask. Just fucking roll with it, bro. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know, that the last few days, for some moronic reason, I’ve been getting in touch with my inner sensitivity. Well, it was too fucking weird for me and I’m back. Just like the second go around of the Bubonic Plague or when your herpes flare up again or you decide to date your ex-boyfriend again, because “things will be the same different now…”

                Well, anyways, I have come to an impasse in my life. I’m getting ready to graduate and heading off into the wild blue yonder, or how ever the fuck it goes. Personally, I don’t give a flying. But I feel like the whole part of growing up, compromises have to be made. Not only compromises, but I think becoming compatible with other human beings is probably going to be a necessity. Personally, I don’t give a flying fuck about the shit either; however, who really has a say when the bird decides to in fact shit on you?

                Human interaction is A.) A lost art, B.) A fucking joke, and C.) A giant fucking mystery to me. Some days I get it, and then the next day; it’s a pretty much a foreign fucking concept. It’s not that I’m trying to say that I can’t stand to coexist with people. I can, it’s just the days when I start thinking dark thoughts, I find myself concerned for whomever is going to be the one to come into contact with me.

...and no, I don't wonder why I get rejected often. I'm fully aware of my attributes. 

                So, I’ve been playing around with this thing call OKCupid. I do it, because, I think I’m going to find the love of my life. Well sure as shit, I hate everyone on there. I haven’t come across a person I could see myself with; even the ones that I do message and get rejected from. I just can’t find myself to liking them. First off, the majority of these girls are ugly. I’m talking, bottom of the barrel, looking. Unless, I suck and just didn’t click on the ugly filter option on there. I dunno, to be honest. Then, the ones that do make it past the eye test are like beyond fucking retarded. I’m sure these people are sweethearts; I would totally hate to knock on them, especially if they potentially have a heart of gold. However, I can’t find myself to take anyone serious if they start their bio with, “I’m weird. If you can’t handle weird you should probably leave this page.” That’s basically the best advice I’ve heard. You’re probably right.

                I hate the ones that just go on about their lives. How they have all those cats or dogs and they do cute things. Then they talk about all the activities they do with their lives and how incredibly boring they are. Honey, no one is really taking that much of a vested interest in your life. You’re practically an afterthought. You’re literally going to be forgotten in about ten seconds, because your pictures are from sexy. Unless you want to get my attention, throw a little side boob action. Otherwise, you wrapped up in your blanket, just isn’t that impressive.

Another one of my favorites is when they tell you how incredibly sarcastic they are and how if you can’t put up with the extremist of sarcastic personalities, then… well you get the gist. Really, tell me about sarcasm. I’m really interested…It blows my mind how people use their sarcasm as a bright spot in their personality. I never knew it was a great quality to have. I’ve run into so many people who cannot stand being around me for my strong sarcastic personality. I don’t blame them. I break out into full beast mode. But I don’t go around bragging how I’m sarcastic. It just happens and people eventually find out the magnitude. To be honest, sarcastic people is a blatant turnoff. I want nothing to do with someone who gets into a pissing match over who can outwit the other in a sarcasm duel. They’re retarded. Brick, hammer, genitals. BAM! I guess I’m alone on that one…

                So basically in my spare time, I just judge the shit out of random people’s profiles and a part of me feels happy about myself. So, it does have its upsides. I know people who have had success with it. Me? Well, I’m clearly doing it wrong and I am I making any real concerted effort to fix that. Till then, I’m going to continue my search for true love the conventional way, by buying one online from Russia, or wherever the shipping is cheapest…

This Bond is not Enough

I'm sick of tired of bitching about things, people, quirks, etc... There is only so much I can say about how I hate something, or despise something. So, I’m totally going to geek out on this one. We are going to talk about one of, by far, my favorite subject matter: movies. But not just any type of movie, but specifically James Bond.

A buddy of mine was having a little mini Bond Marathon which involved strictly Pierce Brosnan in the title role. For us, we have really only known Pierce Brosnan as James Bond 007. His films (Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is not Enough, and Die Another Day) are groundbreaking in our minds eyes. How in the world can these be matched by someone else’s interpretation of the character. I was born in 1989. I just made the Reagan Era. When I was born, Timothy Dalton was still that guy. But, I mean, when you’re like four months old, Timothy Dalton is far from a priority in life.

After the retirement of Pierce Brosnan, a lot of us 90’s kids were lost and fell into a deep depression. I have tons of memories of his Bond movies. I mean, all you have to say is Goldeneye 64 and you have just become best friends with the stranger next to you in class. But today, we are blessed with Daniel Craig. That debate between Pierce and Daniel, and who is better at Bond, well, no one will ever really know. But, I got to thinking, thanks to this friend, sure we can talk about who has the better Bond films, But what about the films in between. So I propose this, during their reign of Bond (Pierce Brosnan 1995-2002 and Daniel Craig 2006-current), who has the best “side project” films.

So I compiled this list, and I think it’s evident, that Daniel Craig had more side projects that were blockbusters. He also had the time during MGM bankruptcy issues between 2008 and 2011.

Dafuq?

The Thomas Crown Affair (Awesome), Mars Attacks! (Amazing), Dante’s Peak (C’mon, how can you hate that movie?), The Tailor of Panama (Classic), and Evelyn (Makes me cry every time) are all decent movies. I mean, these movies are as if James Bond himself went on vacation and this is what he did while he was away from the office that one weekend. So I think, personally, Pierce wins this round. Daniel Craig basically has, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Defiance, and Cowboys & Aliens. Everything is basically mediocre at best. Daniel Craig didn’t really get famous until someone saw him in a nearly speedo in Casino Royale.

This type of thing is expected when you are living in the shadows of Pierce Brosnan. I guarantee you right now, Pierce Brosnan’s “post-Bond films”  are going to rank higher that Craig’s, when the time comes. Have any of you seen, The Matador? You should look into it. I think it’s fair to say that Pierce Brosnan is awesome and better than Daniel Craig. Just saying.

Anyways, that’s all I got. Next week, we’ll delve into the life and career of the one and only, Nicolas Cage. Good night folks and stay safe.

Hopeless Wanderer

Now, I’m probably going to piss off a bundle of train wrecks, fuck ups, or even some coke heads, which is fine, but I think it’s time for a little heart to heart. You are right, I've never stepped in your shoes for a day, and you’re completely right, I don’t understand. However, that is precisely the point; I don’t understand. I don’t understand why people would continue to put themselves through the worst situations they can possibly imagine. I can’t understand how someone could continue to just let their lives go to shit. And I have no idea what the hell you were talking about when you were blabbing about that thing and the stuff and…ugh

My Facebook has been blowing up with so many, “woe is me” stories. I’d go on a delete binge, but part of me was far too entertained during the Blizzard of 2013 when I had no power. Then, part of me remembered the time when I sought out to save the drama queens of the world, and fight away all evil, betraying boyfriend while permanently friendzoning myself for decades of servitude. But it doesn’t just stop there, while I’ve been reading things, it’s dawned on me that many people complain about things to Facebook. You’ve noticed that right? And then you go on and complain about the complaints being made in a status. I see shit like that and flip out because I want to say something but I don’t want to stoop that low.

So how do you complain about people complaining about other people’s complaints? Well, if I had to answer that, I would say you just do it. But I’m not going that rout. What I is going to say in plain English…

Oh, you’re life has literally gone to shit? Tell me more. I love hearing the sounds of freight trains flying by and literally crushing your dreams. I want up to the minute updates of people breaking into your house and stealing/vandalizing your shit. END SARCASM. Like honest to fucking Christ, who the fuck do you hang out with it? Seriously? Wait, you actually have intentions on getting your shit together? Well, for starters, Facebook doesn’t care about your woes, nor do the people reading about it, however, the amusement of your poor excuse of life allows me to pass my lunch break at school. So, thank you for that. Moving on, your friends in jail, or have had multiple run ins with the law. Yeah, they gotta go. Tell them, hey we had some good times, but this shit too cray for me… Third, American Pie, it make every day worth living for. Forth, it can always be worse…

Oh, you want to be the buzz kill that shit’s on everyone’s redundant statuses by posting a redundant buzz kill status? Well, you can literally go and fuck yourself. You’re not that funny and cleaver. I think that’s all that really needs to be said about that… I mean, let’s face it. You’re a tool.

Oh, you’re back and want to give me an update on how amazing your life suddenly is? Fantastic! I’ll get the rusty box cutters I found next to some crumbs and your crack pipe I found in your car. Here you go. Do what you do best, because I sure as shit don’t believe that you have made the necessary turnaround in life. It’s been literally 36 fucking hours since your life was literally “ending” and that you had no idea what else could possibly go wrong. I remember that specifically, because had been saying that all week…

Oh, I insulted you with my little soul searching joke? My apologies, I must have missed that message you left on my voice mail when you finally returned my phone call after four fucking years.

Oh, you hashtag on Facebook? Little known fact, it was actually started on twitter and has been rendered useless on Facebook. But keep doing it, looking like a fuck head is in this season.

Oh, you hate twitter? That’s fine, you should post about it on Facebook that way you can contradict your points…

Oh, you posted a blog about the stupid shit that people instagram? That’s weird, I did the same thing but with Facebook statuses. People still didn’t give shit, but hey… what was your name again, you’re sort of irrelevant to my life… Ouch.

Oh, you’re deleting friends on Facebook? I hope I make the cut… Really will save me the time for doing it later…

Oh, you purposely act like a bag of douches just to show people that you can be an evil fucking person? Well, I can play that game too... I said I can, but I'm not going to. I mean, after all, who gives a shit if I can make someone cry or bleed. Now I have to deal with all the psychological bullshit that follows. I don't have time for your problems. I got my own.

Well, I think that's enough. I'm just so glad I have lost my cynicism. I misplaced it for a whil... Who am I kidding, I didn't lose it, I just held back a bit. But to much avail, fuck it

Keep posting song lyrics, I love that shit!!!

* Smiley face with a shit eating grin*

It's Too Cold for Sexual Thoughts...

            I haven't quite figured how to gauge my success of surviving this great blizzard of 2013. I lost power. I shoveled my way out of the driveway with my stepmom. I lived in a cold house that averaged a temp of 55 degrees with the exception of the living room; we had a fireplace running all day/night. I lived without Facebook, twitter, texting, instagram, email, T.V., the internet. But instead, I took interest with my families lives. We had conversations. We drank beer. We shared laughs and giggles a few times. We played Clue. We listened to the radio to hear how everyone else was surviving. That was what life was like. But then my mom told me to come over because they had power…

            I woke up at 4 AM on Saturday in a strangely cold room. I looked over and my phone appeared to be in a noncharging state of mind. It dawned on me that we had finally lost power during this blizzard. A groaned a bit then flopped over and went back to sleep. When morning finally called for me, I rolled out of bed and saw my father and stepmom sitting on the couch talking. The fire was blazing in the fire place and the room was considerably warm. I thought to myself, this should be easy. At least 24 hours of this? NBD.

            I sat around most of the day with fam, reading a book (I actually own a few books, surprisingly enough), and even played CLUE. I thought about posting shit on Facebook and twitter and instashit. It was tough. I had some good material to post that would probably generate thousands of likes and retweets, but then I thought to myself, I should probably conserve my battery life for more pressing needs, you know, emergency phone call or something. I also wanted to post pictures of the blizzard, because I knew how unique they would have been. Instead of your yard, it would have been mine, maybe with a different choice of filters. I know I’m quite the picturesque type.

 

            Clue was fun. I hadn't played that game in years. It was great to get a refresher course in board games. In another life, I grew an admiration for them, and since lost my way. Oh how I yearn for the old days… (But the new days are decent too…) So Clue… I lost, by default. I should have picked the knife instead of the wrench. It was upsetting. I really thought I had the killer in my crosshair, but nope. I fucked up.

            After Clue, we sat around listening to the radio. People were calling in about how they were weathering the storm. It was funny. Better than watching a shitty reality show. Why? Because these were real people and they weren’t be scripted to do anything. One woman called saying she was concerned about her front door being blocked by the snow and that she couldn’t get out. Later in the conversation she made it aware to everyone that she had a back door she could go out. I mean the stupidity of people. You can’t write that shit. Another person called in asking if there were any liquor stores open. I respect a man with priorities. Then the majority of people were complaining, during the storm, why the power wasn't back on. My think for why it wasn't back on was simply; well, would you want to go out there in the storm to fix something…? I sure as fuck didn't want to even leave my living room. The whole notion got me aggravated. People have this, want now, mentality. Which leads me to this; there’s a system, there are people out there who say, “Fuck the system.” Well, let me tell you something, you’re the reason why the system doesn't function properly. It’s because you keep offsetting the goddamn fucking system!

 

            Several points during the chaos of Nemo, I would check Facebook to get an idea how the outside world was doing. Many people died in this storm. I’m talking about actual deaths. I’m talking about figurative, fictitious deaths. People lost power and they were bored. What would they do without Facebook or twitter or texting their bff’s? I was more concerned for their wellbeing than the elderly neighbors next door with no heat and a junk pacemaker.  I for one thought it was fun. I enjoyed myself. Yes, it was fucking cold in my house, but at the end of the day, I kept thinking, it could be worse. And let me tell you, it can always be worse…

           Sleeping At night was a fucking drag. It actually wasn't that bad. My room was about 55 degrees and I had about 15 blankets. They all kept falling of my bed and then I would remember it was cold as fuck. I tired to think of happy thoughts, however, I realized it was just too damn cold. That and happy thoughts were pissing me off simply because I was miserable. But I never forgot, it could always be worse... and it was bad enough...

p.s. the power is back on! Thank Christ! I almost died…

Positive Words of Encouragement

Hi! Hi! Hi! I want to tell you something...


I've been feeling really inspired to write lately, but I've been entirely turned off by the idea because of school and how that's all I've been doing. It's just not the type of writing I want to do. I could give two shits on writing press releases or some other bullshit. This past election has inspired me to get back into my fictional shit. By the way, I didn't vote for Obama. So when the new Civil War begins, I'm totally screwed living here in Communists Massachusetts...

Anyways, politics aside, I've been doing some inspirational, soul searching, type shit. I've concluded that I have appeared to misplace my remote somewhere in between the seat cushions again... I also came up with, what I think, are three profound goals in my life that I feel I have to accomplish. This is aside from the typical, getting a great job or creating a beautiful family with a wonderful person I want to spend the rest of my life, all that cheesy lame shit. So here we go...

My Goals in Life:

1.  I want to write a book that will leave a lasting (and positive) impression on the world. This book, is supposed to be inspirational; something that will be talked about for generations. 
2.  I want to own a baseball team (not called the Boston Red Sox). I always thought owning a baseball team would be cool. What of it? Better to dream big, than little.
3.  While on the subject of dreaming big, I would also like to run for President of the United States of America. 

Now, you can look at these things and laugh. That's fine. What is it they say? Haters gonna hate. But take a good look at yourself, what are your aspirations in life? Are they easily obtainable, because if they are, you should probably go back to drawing board. Or if you don't have any, you should probably get on that. 

Life isn't about breathing the air into our lungs and out. It's not about wasting it or getting back to it later, when it's convenient. Life is about right now. Life is about actually living it. Doing things you want to do. Not that, "let's go out and party," YOLO shit. Fuck that, man. 

If I want to write an inspirational book, fuck it, I am going to do that. If I want to owe a baseball team, fuck it, I am going to do that. If I want to run for fucking president, you bet your ass I will. You can tell me that I can't do it. But who are you to say what I can and can't do? You think I won't succeed? The odds are not favorable, but the odds don't exist if I don't try. 

That's the problem with my generation. We seek things we know we can do. Can I get up this morning? Check. "Well, I don't feel like doing the whole school thing, I sucked in high school, college just isn't for me, I'll settle for less and work three job while living with my parents." C'mon, what are you afraid of? Failure? Life is about taking chances. If you fail, you learn from your mistakes and try again. And let's be fucking realistic, I'm sick of people doing shit, "just for the sake of doing shit," going out and being reckless and at the end of the night, "well, I made a mistake, I learned from it, I'll move on..." Such a fucking cop out. If you know it's going to end in a disaster, why fucking do it? Like, is that really a question that needs to be thought about?

I think we have a purpose in life. I really do. I think we can all look at the people around us and take inspiration from one another. I know that's something I would like to do. I want to leave my mark in this world in some form. I want to inspire someone to do something great. Whether it's a pat on the back that gave them the confidence to spark a revolution, or cure cancer, or become a leading expert in industrial waste management. I want to my kids to look into my eyes when they are seeking some type of counsel, and know to not be afraid of the demons the world has. I want them to fight through all the disparity and enlighten someone else to do a greater good. I want them to know, it's okay to be afraid and they can fight through all the oppression life has to offer. And I encourage you all to do the same.

I think it's silly for people to sell themselves short and settle for what is simple and familiar. It's really a wasted life. I see people in my life all the time. Some strive to do good things that meaningful to their life, and I applaud them. Others seem to just sit around and wait til the clock finally runs out. That depresses me. Then, there are the ones in limbo. The ones that had it all figured out, but then things fell apart on them. Well, fear not, the journey doesn't end there. 

I feel it's important to dream, to create goals, to feel inspired. I think it's important to seek knowledge. Always strive to learn more. There's a wealth of knowledge out there and the moment you lose interest in that, then there's no point in things. Building lasting friendships is essential to life. I want to meet new people and learn from them. The world has so much to offer. Why sit around and watch opportunities pass us by. Guys, there's a whole fucking world out there. I want to see it.

...oh, yeah, now I remember what I wanted to tell you, positive words of encouragement.

This Way. That Way. Which Ever Way is Convenient

Well, hey there friend. I would take a moment and ask how you were doing, but I'm not entirely sure if you can respond, nor am I sure I have the attention span to actually listen if I could. Anyways, school started back up and I have one of those rare off-nights I don't have to worry about some big ass paper/project. I also have a moment where my attention span isn't being pulled by a shiny object.

Anyways, I've had to deal with a bundle of shit lately and my head is slowly coming back down from everything. I would totally share you the lessons learned from the experience, but I don't want to get frustrated by it all again. So, that topic is out of the mix... I could go on about work, but I mean, who really cares? Customers are still stupid and greedy, but I mean, I think they just throw that in the "That's Life" category. So, that topic is also out... What to run my mouth off about? Love? Life? Friendships? Work? Bitchy bitches bitching? Aliens! Nah, let's talk about politics...

No, really, I was serious...

I've been meaning to talk about something like this, but I never really knew how to approach this. I feel like a lot of people in my age group just don't really care about politics. I personally feel it's good to stay on top of these things and have some sort of opinion. Now, I might not always agree with what my peers believe in, but they still went out there and gathered some type of information regarding politics. It's not the easiest of things to follow and I'll admit that at times, I have to walk away from it all.

The one thing I hate is getting into debates. I'll admit, I'm in the Libertarian spectrum, and I almost agree with no one. My issue is when I walk into something where I'm neck and neck with someone who's far left and they go off about whatever and they start spitting at me because there mouth is running a mile a minute and yeah, it just gets messy. Anyways, really? Like, I get it, I do it too, at times, but you're not going to persuade me from how I feel about how the government should be run. It's like a Born Again Christian trying to convert an Orthodox Jew... Good-fucking-luck. People post crummy liberal crap on facebook all the time. You know those Obama Savior shit, they drive me up a fucking wall and the only way I can feel content with all of it is by trolling back with some outlandish right wing propaganda thing that even I know is silly and loopy. But I do it because, it just shows the ignorance of some people.

It's shit like this photo that get's me fired up. That's fucking fantastic. I'm totally going to ignore the fact that the unemployment rate is still around 8%. But you know, he created jobs... must be totally legit.

Don't worry, it's not all rainbows and butterflies with the Republicans. They piss me off too. Why? Well, hey, let's be apart of the solution in getting America back on track by voting down ever single fucking liberal finger printed bill that comes up to the floor and then, not counter it with something better. Let's be counter-fucking-productive.

The following is from the editorial 545, by Charlie Reese. Now you don't have to read it all, but at least skim the beginning and the end. You might even have a little fire in ya


Politicians are the only people in  the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against  deficits, WHY do we have deficits? Have you ever wondered, if all  the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have  inflation and high taxes? You and I don't propose a federal budget. The President does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't  control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does. One hundred  senators, 435 congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices  equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally,  morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that  plague this country. I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve  Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress  delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a  federally chartered, but private, central bank. I excluded all the  special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal  authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a  President to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a  politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to  accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the  legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes. Those 545  human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did  is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of  party. What separates a politician from a normal human being is an  excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a  Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.  The President can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to  accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land,  gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating  and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House?  John Boehner. He is the leader of the majority party. He and fellow House  members, not the President, can approve any budget they want. If the  President vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree  to. It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million  cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of  incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic  problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal  government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist. If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it  unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Army & Marines are in Iraq and Afghanistan it's  because they want them in Iraq and Afghanistan. If they do not  receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter if there an (R) next to their name or a (D). What matters is what's write for this country. It annoys me that when people vote, they vote for a person because someone told them to, or their parents did or something silly. They vote for the "oppressor" because the opposing VP candidate is pro-life and doesn't believe in Gay institutions. Well, yeah, I disagree with that too, but let's at this realistically, is that going to get the economy back on track? Oh, and is the VP candidate going to have the final say in the "checks and balanced," democratic government? No, ain't no way that ever happens. And to the people who say that we have no liberties and freedoms, what rights did you get taken away since Obama's been in office? They look about the same as before. In fact, a lot of time, we are giving up the right to do a lot of things on our own accord. Public officials know your dumb enough not to read fine print. Who the hell knows what's actually in there. And who know's what rights you've waived in the privacy policies, or speeding tickets, etc... You have no right, because you allowed it to happen.

Come November, someone will be elected president for the next 4 years. Think long and hard about what the most important issues are and then decide who fits you're beliefs. Don't vote because polls are dictation someone to win or because you don't like the other guy. You can put any name down on the ballot. After all, it's a government for the people, by the people.

Your Daughter is a Babe

Guess who's back? Back again? This guys back... You really don't have to tell a friend. I'm not that important...


It's been quite a fucking while since the last run through of nonsense. It's been so long that I feel the need to run my mouth off... It's just, I didn't come to this loaded with any ammo. I've been hanging out on tumblr lately and I'm just fucking bored sick of it. I dunno how many more pictures I can just re-blog and feel satisfied with life. I just have not the slightest clue how people do that for fucking hours. Meanwhile, thousands of doctors are just baffled by the rise of Diabetes in a America...


Anyways, so life has just been a peach. The best anyone could ever ask for. I love Summer!! I live my life to the fullest when it comes to the Summer... I actually there is so much fucks I don't giveth when it comes to Summer. It's just another fucking season. Yeah, sure, it's nice to go out and do a few things, but I mean, I spend so much money when I go out and I am a cheap bastard. It's really tough this time of the year when I yearn for excitement, but then shy away when I realize I have to spend money. That realization of adult hood and "Not Everything Is Free" methodology fumbles around in my head and gets mixed up with "Fuck it."

I had this weird realization the other night. I'm really upset that I haven't read any, "This summer, I found out who my real friends were..." Facebook statuses. Like, I am really, really, incredibly genuinely upset by this notion. Either, people are starting to grow up and get their shit together or maybe they all moved away, because "they hate this town and the people in it." Which reminds me, I haven't seen many of those statuses either... What the fuck is wrong with you people? I need your useless fucking lives to be incredibly miserable so I can read up about how incredibly miserable your life is on Facebook on my days off from work. Now, I have to go out and fucking socialize and spend money. Why is my life so damn average?

I just don't get why people have to bitch about the place they live and that they want to leave. If you hate your hometown so much and the people in it that make your life so fucking miserable, then that should give all the incentives to be determined as fuck to get the hell out of dodge. Do something about it. Be somebody.

And to the fucking mother who grilled me the other day at work for checking out her daughter: don't let her out of the house wearing yoga pants. Don't allow her to look so sexy in those. Late at night while she's sleeping, walk into her room with a hammer and beat her face and then make her wear those clothes you used to wear in the 70's. That'll sure as shit end any sexy drive a man may have. Trust me. I shit you not, it'll work. Till then, your daughter is a babe...